We are human beings. We are little collections of experiences. We are scars. We are wounded soldiers. We are wonderfully abstract. So why do we oftentimes feel the need to hide our true selves in all of our complexity to those that we are closest to, especially our mates? What are we afraid of? The other person running away? If that’s the case, then we are basing our relationships on fear and those types of relationships never last. In order to truly have a loving relationship, it must be built on honesty and unconditional love. If that person truly loves you, that person will love every part of you–the beautiful, the magical, the damaged and the messy. So if you are really thinking that this person is someone that you can be with, then give him or her your mess. Think of it this way: it is better for the relationship to end in truth than to last in a lie. So be honest and share your mess and allow space for the other person to share their mess and if you truly can handle each other mess with unconditional love and help each other clean up a bit, then the chances of the relationship being alright is much higher.